The Myth of the Superwoman

How to avoid the pitfalls of thinking you have to do everything..."perfectly"
Dr. Ashley Joves

I’m so excited to introduce you to my guest Dr. Ashley Joves! Dr. Ashley is one of my favorite docs and has become a dear friend over the past few years. 

A little more about Dr. Joves...

Ashley Joves is a wife to her college sweetheart, mama to three beautiful boys, and foodie dentist at Smile + Co. In 2017, she announced during a Facebook Live video that she was finally opening her own startup practice in Folsom, CA. Filled with fear (and tears!) Ashley’s video was shared and viewed thousands of times. Her vulnerability resonated with doctors from around the world who know all too well the anxiety and self-doubt that come when pursuing your dreams.She’s been interviewed on several podcasts regarding her startup story, and in April 2017, she was approached by Michael Arias, “The Dental Marketer,” about documenting her startup in real-time. “The Making of Smile + Co.” podcast series was born, where Ashley detailed the highs and lows of her startup experience on a weekly basis. From demolition to grand opening, first hire to first fire - you’ll hear it all. After Smile + Co. opened its doors, Ashley searched for a Facebook community where she could connect with other startup doctors. When she couldn’t find one, she created it. That was the genesis of “The Making of a Dental Startup” group, which was recently awarded the “Most Educational FB Group in Business Management” by Course Karma. That community is comprised of over 9,000 doctors worldwide sharing their successes and learning experiences (not mistakes!).

Ashley co-hosts another podcast, “Dental Friends with Benefits” with Dr. George Hariri. The duo talk about life, dentistry and everything in between. When not practicing dentistry or podcasting, Ashley is keeping busy cooking for her rambunctious family of 5 and daydreaming about her next passion projects.

Our conversation began with a discussion around her psychobiology major (prior to dental school) and how this knowledge base has given her an edge with people, specifically her team. Mental health has always been near and dear to Ashley’s heart and she mentioned a powerful resource that has helped her strengthen her mental stamina: a social media detox. Continued conversations that are full of honesty and vulnerability is one of the most dynamic ways to engage dentists on what is normally a “taboo” subject. 

“We need to normalize the idea that it’s okay to not be okay” Dr. Ashley Joves 

The final part of our conversation was centered around “the myth of doing it all," a sentiment by Sheryl Sandberg in her book Lean In. 

I’ll quote her here, Trying to do it all and expecting it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfection is the enemy. Gloria Steinem said it best, “You can’t do it all. No one can have two full-time jobs, have perfect children and cook three meals and be multi-orgasmic ‘til dawn...superwoman is the adversary of the women’s movement."

Every woman on the face of the earth is met with the pressure or expectation to do it all or be all to everyone. This dangerous myth is incredibly unreasonable and not only demands everything from us, but it demands that we do it all…perfectly. 

Dr. Ashley shared, “We cannot be all things to all people at all times. The biggest part of my decision to see a therapist was because I was stuck in a rut to be all things. I have so much guilt about my decision to come back to practice after I had given birth to Cody. When I was at the office, I felt like a horrible mother and when I was home being worried about the practice. Coming to grips with the fact that I needed support and help from others on the homefront and at my practice was liberating."

Dr. Ashley Joves, I cannot thank you enough for taking this time to share your story and heart with us and for being on The Story Project podcast. You are a gem of a human and our world is better because of the way you have opened up your heart and shared your story with us. 

If people want to follow you and stay in touch, where is the best place to do that? 
@smileandcompany @ashleyjovesdds

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