Spark

2016 brought a lot of change for me personally and professionally. I turned forty, celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary (shout out to my main man @joshuascott), transitioned out of a fast-paced role at Five14 Church in New Albany, went back to school with an emphasis in Organizational Management, started a new job at Victory Ministries (victorycoh.org), discovered an amazing church called NAPC (newalbanypresbyterian.org), my son now likes girls, my daughter lost a mouthful of teeth and Celiac kicked my butt. I would say two words sum up last year for me…”huge sigh”. Lots of joys and lots of tears. Probably more tears. I had days when I was not sure I could get myself out of bed. My heart hurt too much. I mean the kind when you are not sure you can be put back together. When comforting words from people just make the pain more real. It’s hard to live in this broken world and not have any holes of your own. I had officially lost my spark. I woke up one day a few months ago and kept hearing this phrase in my head. If you never walk through your darkness, then you will never find your brightness. I decided it was time. I needed to start sharing my story. A little at a time. I have spent twenty years of my life in full-time ministry in both the church world and non-profit sector. My driving force has always been “the cause”. Mission and vision must be at the center of what or why I am doing anything. Working with people; younger generations is my sweet spot. I am a female, with a pastoral, full-time ministry calling on my life. I do not always understand the intensity of my passions, but I know God chose me. Discovering one’s purpose in life can take a lifetime; you will be thrown curve balls or stupid balls. That’s what I like to call them. Recently, I spoke with more than one friend, who continue to search for that specific purpose or fulfillment. I have talked with hundreds of students, teenagers and college aged, who are directionless. Regardless of your gender or age, we have at least one commonality. We are all searching for that spark. That piece of adrenaline that helps you jump out of bed each morning and makes it hard to switch off your brain at night. That something that makes your heart beat faster when you talk about it. You get excited just thinking about new ways to make it better. We all want purpose, but not just anything; the kind we were made for. Whether you get paid to do what you love or not is never the point. I mean, I know we all have billz, BUT is it what you were designed to do? I have spent countless hours talking with millennials about their future and now find myself listening to my own words. This thing called life does not always follow “the plan”, which is sad for TYPE A people like me, but the persistence it takes to figure it out in the end makes us stronger and better. Surround yourself this year with people who truly know you and love you. Not the other kind. The voices you listen to are always the most significant, so choose wisely friend. See you soon.

**This post is dedicated to my dear friend @kelliebieser who helped me get my “mojo” back last year. She gave me a photo shoot experience that lifted me up and helped me get back on my feet; saw myself in a new way. Thank you friend for always loving and never giving up.

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