Not Just a Number

Some people think the Enneagram is just another personality test. A trend. A typing tool. A way to organize our quirks into tidy little boxes.

But here’s what I’ve learned…both as a leader and a woman who wants to live fully awake:

It’s not just a number.
It’s a map.A mirror.A quiet way of remembering that who we are at our core… is worth honoring.

When I was first introduced to the Enneagram, I wasn’t looking for another “system.” I already had a vision. A pace. A long to-do list and a deep sense of responsibility: both at work and at home. I was used to carrying a lot, moving fast, and making things happen.

But there was something missing.A deeper understanding of why I moved the way I did.Why certain patterns kept repeating.Why burnout always seemed to find me at the same point in the cycle, with the same ache in my chest and the same questions in my head.

And when I finally slowed down long enough to ask honest questions about how I was wired…The Enneagram became more than a label.

It became a language of compassion—for myself and others.

I’m a Type 8.

Which means: strong, decisive, driven, protective.But it also means: deeply wired to do, to take charge, to see what needs fixing and get it done—with excellence.

I don’t necessarily chase power. But I do chase momentum.And I love being the one who can carry it all. Until I can’t.

Two powerful moments from the recent Enneagram 8 podcast I recorded with Carly Mac and Carly Mun really sank in for me.

Carly Mun said:“We can do anything—but not everything.”

It stopped me in my tracks. Because 8s carry a unique energy. It’s almost like a fire that never goes out. But that fire—left unchecked—burns through everything.

We’re passionate, we’re persistent, and we often don’t realize we’re nearing burnout until we’re already there. Again.

We have to learn to say no.To pause.To pace ourselves, not out of weakness, but out of wisdom.

Because the darker side of an 8 isn’t always obvious.It’s not about dominance or ego: it’s lust in the broader sense.Not sexual, but an unchecked desire for more: more impact, more action, more control, more outcomes. And if that desire runs the show, it doesn’t just wear us out. It can unravel what we’re working so hard to build.

Then Carly Mac added something I’ll never forget:“You are enough.”
And it struck a deeper nerve.

Because so many women…especially 8s, are told, directly or indirectly, that they’re too much. Too loud. Too intense. Too emotional. Too opinionated.

And yet—we ache to feel fully seen, fully accepted.

So many of us were taught, whether by a childhood script or a corporate culture, that our value is in what we do. What we produce. What we carry.And that lie? It’s dangerous. Because when our identity is tied to performance, rest feels like failure. Vulnerability feels risky.

The work for us 8s, and really for all women, is to ask:Who am I outside of what I do?
Who am I when I’m not producing, proving, or protecting?

That question changed me.It’s why I went on retreat earlier this year and came back with three words I now speak over myself daily:

I am a worthy, powerful, free woman.

And let me tell you: those words healed something in me.They reminded me I don’t have to shrink back to belong.

If you’ve ever been told you're too much… or if you’ve spent years trying to be less so others could feel more comfortable—This is your invitation to stop shrinking.

You are not too much.You are not just a number on a chart.You are not just what you produce.

You are worthy.You are powerful.You are free.

You belong at the table.In the boardroom.In the C-suite.On the stage.In the home.In the fullness of your calling: as a business owner, as a creative, as a mother, as a woman who leads with both strength and softness.

Let that be the story you return to, because you don’t have to earn what’s already yours.

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